then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
