I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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