bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
