i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Im part way to drunk.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
