mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
