See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
