I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
