Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
