Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
