You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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