He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
