I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
