A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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