It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
