Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
