Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
