Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
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I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
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The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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