He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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