Having a random hookup so left but love u
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
