This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
