but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I have aggressive nipples.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
