lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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