Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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