so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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