So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
