I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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