So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
