Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
