It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
