you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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