I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize