I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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