Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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