her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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