There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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