We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
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