You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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