I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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