your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
