i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
