he shaved USA in his pubs
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
