It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize