this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
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we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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