why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize