Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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