If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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