Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
She announced her abortion via fbk
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Send help, water and tortillas.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
