At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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