yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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