Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just google imaged poop.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
