Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
