i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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