Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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