he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
