do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
