Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
