i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
