Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize